Don't be afraid to brag

As women, we tend to attribute our successes to luck - as if we just happened upon it because of the help that others gave us. Generally speaking, we are quick to shy away from kudos and are hesitant to take credit. Rather than accepting praise for the work we’ve put in, we defer it, insisting that it our success was only due to external factors.

“Women attribute their success to working hard, luck, and help from other people. Men will attribute that - whatever success they have, that same success - to their own core skills.” - Sheryl Sandberg

Why is that? Do we fear our accomplishes aren’t big enough? Do we discount our own abilities? Do we not want to come across as arrogant? Maybe it’s not just to be sweet, but it’s that we don’t believe our own abilities are worth recognizing. Or, maybe it’s that we are so worried about sounding conceited, the recognition isn’t worth the risk of people thinking we’re full of ourselves.

This tendency not to give ourselves due credit can be completely debilitating. The habit not only demotivates us to go the extra mile next time, but also stunts opportunities for growth. It means that hard work, innovative ideas, and leadership skills can go unnoticed, and therefore, aren’t taken advantage of. If people (including yourself) don’t see your true value, it’s less likely you’ll continue to develop your skills, grow, and bring even more value to the table.

Sitting back and assuming people understand and comprehend everything you do is a mistake that’s too easy to fall into. We often assume that people will just notice, but the truth is, we have to tell them. Nobody likes to be around the person who talks about themselves all the time and has no humility. However, there’s a happy medium in there somewhere. We have to be comfortable sharing our ideas and accomplishments in order to capitalize on our true potential.

Listen up: you can share your accomplishments without sounding conceited. In fact, many women need to get more comfortable bragging about themselves.

What we often consider “bragging” is not actually bragging as we know it in the negative sense. You can tell people about things you’re working on, trying out, or kicking ass at without sounding like you’re full of yourself. In fact, getting into this habit will open up opportunities that you may not have been exposed to if you hadn’t shared these things. Not only is it important that others (friends, bosses, colleagues, whoever) see what you’re capable of, but you also need to recognize your own well-deserved accomplishments in order to continue reaching your goals.

So, here’s my challenge to you:

Sometimes, at the end of a meet-up, we’ll leave ~10 minutes for bragging. It’s a time for us to share recent accomplishments with each other so that we become more comfortable talking about our successes. It’s a good reminder that it isn’t going to come out and be interpreted in the way that we fear it will be. We share, celebrate, and encourage each other’s wins, big or small. Try this out next time you’re with friends and get yourself more comfortable bragging about your wins. They’re well-deserved and you know it.