Your inner dialogue is getting in your way

You know that voice in your head? The one telling you you can’t do it, you shouldn’t do it, you’re not ready, the timing isn’t right, there’s someone better, you’re crazy, or you aren’t good enough? Some days, it’s your biggest hurdle. Isn’t that ironic? That there are all of these things standing in our way, but sometimes the most difficult one to get past is ourselves? Wow… imagine how many things we’ve held ourselves back from because we let our inner dialogue dictate our actions to a point where we didn’t even start or give something a shot. 

Think about your current goals and what’s standing between you and that end goal. Are you in your own way? You might think, “well, I’m not educated enough” or “I’m just not quite ready” or “there’s already someone else doing it well, so I’m already behind” or “nobody knows it’s a goal of mine so I’m only letting myself down.” There it is. Those are the moments when that inner dialogue is getting in your way. The moments when you don’t even take a single step in the direction of your goal because you’ve already decided you aren’t worth, able, ready, or enough. 

 You’re often your own harshest critic. 

We have enough barriers in our way, let’s not be our own barrier as well. It’s one of the hardest, but most vital barriers to break down because it’s habitual. Women are socialized to second-guess ourselves, to compare ourselves to others, and to strive for absolute perfection, which hinders our ability to do things that are outside our comfort zones and to fully see our potential. All of this influences how we judge ourselves and our abilities. This perception often runs our inner dialogue and plagues it with the can’ts and shouldn’ts. 

It’s important to acknowledge these thoughts, but not let them dictate you. If you suppress them, they’ll build up. Rather than letting your inner dialogue immediately dictate your actions, take two extra steps. The first is to acknowledge your own thoughts and the second step is to make an attempt to understand them. Where is the self-doubt coming from? Why are you feeling unsure? Assess whether those feelings are valid, if they’re self-inflicted or coming from external sources, and be brutally honest with yourself about whether or not they should be holding you back. Trusting your gut is a good thing, but do a self-check every once in a while to make sure you aren’t creating your own barriers. 

Don’t let yourself get in the way before you even start. Whether that inner dialogue is telling you you’re having a bad hair day or you aren’t qualified for the job, its negativity is likely holding you back. Confidence radiates from the inside out, so start with yourself. Spread positivity and self-assurance in your own thoughts, then let that seep into your actions and outward presence.