So you failed. Now what?
Truth is, sometimes things don’t go as planned. So… who cares? Seriously, was it that big of a deal? How do you shake it off and where do you go from here? I’ll start this off by saying, it’s often not as bad as we make things out to be.
I’ve found that in my job, when I admit failure (on behalf of myself or my team) and work to figure out why we didn’t hit a goal and what we could do differently next time, it’s typically received positively. Of course, this varies vastly depending on your field of work as some jobs allow for a much higher margin of error than others. Think about your role (professionally, or not) and what opportunities there are for you to reach a little further, even if it means risking failure. What are you not doing because you’re afraid of failing? And, how would failure be received even if things weren’t to go as you hope?
See, that’s where the disconnect often lies. We think failing will be a much bigger deal than it actually is. How often does someone blame you for trying? If you have a well thought-through plan, good intentions, and outstanding effort, who is going to blame you? Our fear of failure is almost always rooted in other peoples’ perceptions. Sure, we don’t want to let ourselves down, but more importantly, we obsess over what others will think.
Think about the last time you reached for a goal and didn’t quite get there. Maybe you were working towards a promotion, but it was delayed. Or maybe you ran a marathon, but didn’t finish within your goal time. Or maybe your business launched a new product but it missed the mark. Or maybe you tried a new workout class but didn’t know any of the moves or how to use the equipment. Or maybe you wanted to visit all 50 states before you turned 30, but your priorities changed. Or maybe you competed in a bodybuilding competition, but didn’t place. Now think about how people reacted. Did they care? Did their perception of you change? Did they even know? Or, was it even a failure at all?
Tips for overcoming perceived failure:
Let it go. If you continue to dwell on it, you’ll get in your own way.
Look at the positives. What went well? What did you learn that you can improve on next time? Make sure you allow yourself to celebrate that portion that did go well – it’s likely much more significant than the portion that didn’t go well, anyway.
Make a plan. Move forward – are you going to try again? Adjust your goal? Switch gears? Whatever it is, make a plan for moving yourself forward.
Don’t assume people’s perceptions.
Yes, I called that “perceived failure” for a reason. We often feel as though something is a failure if it didn’t go 100% as planned. If we got 90% of the way there, we dwell on that 10%, allowing it to taint that successful 90%. Let that set in for a second. Why would we disregard all of that hard work and all of those achievements because just a part of it wasn’t perfect? It’s completely ridiculous, but we do it all the time.
If you truly aren’t satisfied with your progress, then pick yourself up, dust the dirt off, and try again. Learn from your last attempt and make improvements so the next time you give it a shot, you exceed your goal.